Getting Through a Separation or Divorce

According to the website of Kessler & Solomiany, LLC, divorce is never easy and can take an emotional toll on the spouses, especially if they are also parents with children. Yet, there are tangible things that you can do to assist you in getting through this rather difficult time in your life. You may be questioning yourself on a recent interaction with your spouse – wondering if you could have tried harder to make the relationship work or whether you broke the news to the kids in the best way possible. It is always recommended to give yourself a break. It is alright to have different emotions than you normally have. If you are confused, frustrated, exhausted, and sad, accept that these emotions will get better over time. If you are anxious about the future, acknowledge that as well.

Emotions not dealt with can take a toll on anyone going through a divorce. It is better to accept that you are not going to function at optimal level for some time. Recognize that you may get less productive at work or less talkative at social gatherings, but it won’t last forever.  One tangible action that you can do is going out with other friends or family and share experiences with them. If there is a support group in your area where you can talk to others who are going through similar situations as you, join one! It is never better to isolate yourself, especially during or after a divorce. Being along can sometimes only magnify the stress levels and affect your overall health.

Get out there and exercise – your body and your mind. Read a good book or go to an exercise class with friends. Talking care of your health emotionally and physically can go a long way in helping you to recover from a sometimes less than amicable divorce.

Try to also follow your regular routine as much as possible, as this can add some needed structure to your daily life. Have lunch with your friends at the office, and if you like to cook, create something great for dinner. Explore a favorite hobby that you have wanted to pursue.

If you have children, and they are being shared between both spouses, it is important to keep routines and stability in their lives. Talk with your ex about such issues as school nights, bedtimes and curfews for the children, and agree in advance on these topics – to avoid the unexpected!

Staying on good terms with your ex can help you recover better. It’s hard to be positive when you are resentful or hurt. If you have children, you’ll need to show them that it is important to get along with and forgive others. It is also best not to involve children in any disagreement that you had with your ex. Children don’t need to take sides or become messengers for each spouse, as it can further aggravate stressful situations, and cause them to blame themselves for their parents’ breakup. Seek mediation or an attorney to work out major differences before they cause you any further distress! Enjoy today, and it will get better!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *